It’s been a real challenge the past few weeks for me to sit down and write. I feel like a juggler, trying to keep everything going—or a hamster, spinning endlessly on her wheel. I am busy, as the Instacart commercial says—very very busy. I have my lists of tasks but never the energy to get them all accomplished. There is always something that gets put off until tomorrow, or next week, or next year. I have the book I want to read, the workout I need to get in, the laundry, the groceries, my job, teaching, writing. You understand?

Now, let’s add into all of that chaos, my anxiety. I’ve done really well this year. I am learning how to let go of my fears and give them over to the Lord. But recent events and our ever crisis filled news, leaves me angry and worried. I was talking to my husband about all of this last night as we ate our dinner. There’s so much uncertainty, and uncertainty is my kryptonite. I want to know what’s coming. I want to be in control. I want everything in its place, organized and orderly. That poses a problem when we live in a fallen world.

1 Peter 5:6-7, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I can cast my anxiety on Him, but I will then immediately reel it back in! Leaving it out and cutting the line, that is my struggle. Gary E. Gilley said of worry, “Worry is allowing problems and distress to come between us and the heart of God. It is the view that God has somehow lost control of the situation and we cannot trust him. A legitimate concern presses us closer to the heart of God and causes us to learn and trust on him all the more.” Wow! I have never looked at it like that before. When I cast out my anxiety but then immediately take it back, I am saying to God, “I don’t trust you to take care of this. You have lost control of this situation!”  Can you relate?

As we juggle to keep the balls in the air and the world keeps throwing new balls into the mix, let us remember that God is really in control. It’s not my job to keep everything going. I am not meant to be the fixer for every situation. And when we are able to take that burden off of us, we will finally be able to stop the juggling act, and simply walk with our Lord. Jesus said to Martha in Luke 10:41, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.” Our relationship with Him is all that we need. I am learning, ever so slowly, that my relationship with Christ, is really all that matters. The world and its problems are not my job—or my responsibility. Setting aside that worry, and trusting instead, is a constant struggle with my flesh.

My challenge to you, if you are a worrier like me…Let the balls you are juggling fall to the ground! STOP the act and simply walk towards Him who loves you. It’s easy to say and ever so hard to accomplish. I fail everyday when I take back something I’ve given to God. But that is where His grace is greater than our fear! I know that I don’t have to work my way into Heaven. I just have to know Him and love Him! We don’t have to earn our way. We just have to love Him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)