One of my favorite verses in the bible is Proverbs 21:9, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” I am sure that sounds odd to you, why would this verse be a favorite? The bible is filled with so many uplifting, inspirational verses that teach us how to live, why would this verse resonate with me?

I grew up with parents who did not have a good marriage relationship. My dad mistreated and abused my mom. Despite that, my mom continued to love him until she just couldn’t anymore. I knew at a young age, what kind of man I was looking for. I had boyfriends in high school and at one point, when the boy I was dating, disrespected me, I sent him packing! I guess the point I am trying to make is, I always knew how bad it could be, so when I met and married a man who was the complete opposite of my dad, I knew how lucky I truly was.

This summer we will celebrate our 34^th wedding anniversary. It hasn’t always been an easy journey, but through all of it, I have always known how lucky I was to have a man who loved me and treated me with care. Because of that knowledge and the way my husband has always treated me, I have in turn treated him with respect and love. I can’t abide a woman who lords over her husband! I will tell you, if you are married to a good man, who works hard, comes home at night, spends time with you, treats you with respect, you had better put your nagging nature aside and love him as he deserves! This obviously isn’t a problem with just this generation, as King Solomon wrote about this very issue a thousand years before Christ was born.

Marriage is a partnership. Divorce is rarely a one-sided issue. I have been to many bridal showers over the years, and often the bride will ask those in attendance to write some advice on a card or in a journal. My response has always been, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. If he folds the towels wrong, be happy because they are folded!” Growing up with a father who didn’t care if I had holes in my shoes or food in my belly, made me very cognizant of the blessings I have been given.

I took a personality assessment at work today and it told me that I am a D personality; driven, easily bored and unable to sit still for long. Wow! That wasn’t accurate at all! Lol
I have always been driven, even as a child. When we played house, I wanted to be the dad (so I could be in charge)! But, real life and real relationships, are not like the games we played as children. Marriage is work and if you want to succeed at it, you have to put the other person above yourself. I once heard a pastor challenge a couple he was marrying. He told them to try to out love each other. What a concept! It reminds me of the story written by O. Henry, The Gift of the Magi.  The story tells of a poor, young, married couple. The wife wishes to give her hard working husband a nice Christmas gift, so she cuts off all her hair and sells it. She buys him a chain for his pocket watch; the only thing of value that he owns. Her husband comes home to find his wife, hair shorn off, only to explain that he sold his precious pocket watch to buy her hair combs. That my friends, is what marriage is supposed to be. Be like Della and Jim, and as Paul tells us in his letter to the Corinthians, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices wh the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:1)

And if I may be so bold to say—Love does not argue over how to fold the towels.