The Wednesday morning election results brought me into a state of “sheer panic”. I was honestly, absolutely, terrified! This wasn’t just the worst-case scenario; this was the end of the world! Thursday was a little bit better, but I was still full of fear. Friday, a trusted friend, asked me “if I ever read my own blog”! As I laughed, I told her, yes and maybe I need to again! Sunday morning found me in a small room in our church, teaching Sunday School and I looked up on our board to the “key verse” the children are memorizing through this lesson series and it said, “We can trust everything God does”, Psalm 33:4.  Wow! That verse and what I have been teaching for the last couple months, slapped me right in the face! I grabbed my bible and looked up the verse, “For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.” If you were to continue reading to verse 10, “The Lord foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” (Psalm 33:10-11)

Each day since has brought me a little closer to the realization that a person I have no trust or confidence in will be leading our nation for the next four years. However, at the same time, I have felt the Spirit of God, whispering into my fear, reminding me that I can trust Him. I’ve talked about my dad in previous posts. He was a man of great contradictions. He was selfish and concerned only for his own needs and desires most of the time. He also had one of the most gifted minds and had great understanding for God. But he was in constant torment; being pulled back and forth between his flesh and the spiritual wonders of God and his presence. I feel his struggle so much in my life some days. Some days I am on top of the mountain and nothing can touch me! The next day I am spiraling downward, questioning my worth or if God at any moment is going to crush me! This week has been one of those weeks. I pray that my transparency will help you in some way; that through my internal struggle, you will see the hope that I cling to.

There are 365 times in the bible that we are told “do not be afraid”. Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.” Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth.” And Paul, writing to the Christians being persecuted and killed in Rome under Nero wrote, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) I don’t claim to understand the mind of God and how any of what is happening in our world today makes sense. But I know that all things work together for His Glory—to increase praise to His Name—to bring more lives into His Kingdom!

I will be the first to say that I am afraid. I don’t like uncertainty; I like to be in control of what will happen in my life. But I also know that I don’t have that power. Only God holds our future and in Him I know I can place my trust. As David cried out to the Lord in Psalm 20, so shall I. “Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” -Amen